a tractor ran over my legs
We use the old-time Ferguson's shaft to run the big yellow auger. I was just to the left of the big wheel there. Hadn't run it in awhile. Pulled the wrong lever.
My exact thought was "holy shit, the tractor is actually running me over" however this came out of my mouth as, and I quote, "WHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH!!!"
I fell backwards. It got me around the knees. I pulled myself away in case it'd roll back, or just decided to turn around and come after me, but it ran into the grain bin and died. I thought "well, I won't be severely injured because I'm special. wow, I can't believe I'd really think that. But it's probably only happening because it's my fault as I did something incredibly stupid... I can't believe I'm thinking all this while I'm maybe losing the use my legs." But again, this came out as "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAH!"
I fished my cellphone out of my pocket and called my mom in the house "The tractor ran over my legs, come outside, the tractor ran over my legs..." She was on her way. The phone went back in my pocket.
Where was the blood seeping through and out the bottom of my jeans? Whatever exactly my legs wanted to tell me was caught in a thick vise of pain. I reached down afraid there was just soft burger patty connecting my thighs to my shins, bones hanging crooked - but I was solid. Just needs a little more screaming. Mom came looking for what was left of me under the truck (she thought I'd said "truck") then noticed me wave. I, laid out on the ground like today's fresh catch, explained what happened the way you'd ever hear Jim explain anything and calmed her down. "If you could just get me a drink of water and an ambulance."
I felt like I was handling this pretty well.
Soon enough ambulance came; cutting open my jeans, it amazed a couple techs but X-rays confirmed - I had no broken bones. And there were going to give me a helicopter ride! Not that my right leg isn't basically a decoration for awhile, a tasteless one at that - something out of the '70s blotched with an almost translucent-green. However, it'd helped bump the tractor over the left, which is already strong enough I can get by with crutches. Oh, and I skinned my elbow. But much like an old movie policeman, I was one day from retirement (for the season); now I just can't visit the Lairds out west too soon.
But back at that moment, this was clearly an opportunity for a writer. Catastrophe ought to obliterate bullshit, so if I wanted to realize some truth I'd better get to it.
First, I appreciated how cracking jokes (about cracking other things) is important to me. I'd been thinking unhappy thoughts. I don't have to! Maybe it's all just to keep my mind busy. Second, I want to know every truth; I don't think I'll have enough adrenaline left for it all. Third... god dammit.
No, gotta remember my schtick - stop asking god to damn everything, kids, in case it's starting to pay attention...
I pulled myself onto better grass. I looked at the sky past the bins and felt it's own clarity become mine. A bird was finishing a circle overhead - watching me, I thought, flat on my ass again. Birds, always looking down on me... then I realized it was missing a few feathers of its own.
Probably wanted to see what all the screaming was about.
posted by Jim Trapp at
12:24 PM
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